5 Questions To Guide You When It Doesnt Go As Planned

Edmonton Brand Photographer
Nicole Constante | Personal Brand Photographer & Self Development Blogger

I'm someone who's always trying to be in control and freedom almost has the same definition as happiness to me. When it gets challenged, when it's threatened, my instinct and initial response arent always positive.

I had a whirlwind today and I'm dealing with it the best way I know how, turning my mess into a message.

We cant always have a say on what happens to us or our circumstances but that does not mean we dont have control at all. We always have control of how we're receiving it, of how we view it. We can always control how we choose to react to it or if we're going to react at all. Here are some questions I asked myself this morning as I wrote in my journal. I hope it helps you, too.

1. Am I choosing the right mindset?

I recently finished reading the Alchemist and one of my favorite quotes from the legendary book IS this: "He realized that he had to choose between thinking of himself as the poor victim of a thief and as an adventurer in quest of his treasure."

It reminded me of how easy it can be to blame others and think of ourselves as a victim. Having the victim mindset would hurt our ego less but it's only in taking responsibility that can we find real power. When our life is only up to us and how we take it.

When the ego yearns for the instant gratification, when it screams "I want it now!", when it gets caught up in the belief that it is a victim of its situation, when the ego says the world is taking something from you, hush it.

Tune in to your higher self. The one that understands that it's all part of the process. The one that honors your struggle because you know it's all going to be worth it. That things could only make sense looking backwards, and that one day you will look back with a greater understanding of why this is happening right now. Why this has to happen. The one who knows that all of this is necessary for you to really grow and mature to be the person you have to be in order to do things you want to do and have the things you want to have.  

2. What could be the best possible outcome of this? 

Whenever I face an obstacle, my favorite thing to do is to imagine myself years from today, maybe in an interview, or writing about it in a book. I imagine how I would tell the story about the situation and how it helped me, of how it was a blessing in disguise, a redirection to something far better than I couldve imagined for myself.

Everything has their own pace and so do we and it may feel like the it's coming to an end, but I promise you there are far greater things ahead. It may not make sense right now, but who knows? It may be playing a crucial role in your process, a pivotal stage in your journey, a big piece in your life puzzle. 

In times like this humility is more important that fortitude. Humility to admit that we don't have an idea of what's happening. To admit that we dont know, but still we believe it's part of the greater story we are writing. We would look back with gratitude and understanding. And our story only continues to unfold.

3. What is this trying to teach me?

While at it, there was one thing that was my saving grace. Or one person. It was Forrest Gump. I remembered how he did his very best in every moment and embraced whatever life handed to him with all his might. 

What is it really asking of me? If we just listened, if we humbled ourselves enough to be quiet and listen instead of roar in anger, we'll find that it's never the intention of the universe to ask us to give up any of what we are. It is not asking you to give up your freedom, or your visions. If anything, it's asking you to have more fortitude because that's what you will need. Maybe it's showing you what you don't want, so you'll feel more passion and fuel your hunger even more towards what you want.

4. What do I genuinely need?

When I go through these phases, I try to be careful with myself because Im aware of my self destructive tendencies. I take my time to go deep and gauge how I actually feel. Letting it linger without judgment.

I know I need my alone so I could talk to my heart. Tell it I want to be its friend. That it doesnt have to bottle up the pain and it's okay to release it. That bending isnt always the same as breaking. Here is where I surrender control instead of trying to resist because I know this isnt something a pep talk can fix. Although I wouldnt ever be tired of telling myself Itll be okay. Itll be just fine.

And when in doubt, I do what I love. I want to show the universe that I can be trusted. That Im ready to take whatever comes my way if it means i get to come home to my passion. That I can hurt and stay in love at the same time.

5. How can I change my perspective to give thanks?

How do we turn it into something that makes us grateful? How do we approach it with love, acceptance and surrender? 

When the ego is bruised it wants to wallow in shame, to isolate itself and drown in self pity, in angst but the higher self knows better than to give in to that. It understands the process of it all and honors that.

Remind yourself that everything is happening for you, not to you. You just dont understand yet but everything is conspiring in your favor. Maybe its way of helping you right now is giving you lessons and experiences that builds up your strength and courage. 

Say this with me:

"I'll continue to listen, to be your student, because I know youre always trying to teach me something. I love you, too, universe. Thank you because I am infinitely supported and provided for. Thank you for all of it and more."

As always,

Nicole Constante | Personal Brand Photographer and Self Development Blogger
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