How I Tackle Limiting Beliefs and Unhealthy Mindset Around MONEY and Finances..

 
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Money. Money. Money.

Are you uncomfortable yet? Because surely, I am!! HA.

There are days when money and I are best friends— gal pals that are just in a beautiful relationship with each other. I love learning about it so much and finding new ways to manage it makes me feel on top of the entire earth.

And then there are days that are just.. I just don’t want anything to do with it.

It’s scary. I don’t understand it. I’ll curl up here in the corner.

My relationship with and mindset around money goes way back to my childhood — the environment I grew up in and more so the mindset and habits of people and culture I was raised by and in.

It is so much healthier now but that’s not to say I’ve got all the answers and all chains are broken! But today I decided I'll talk about money. I'll keep talking about money. I'll talk about it so much until the conversation is normal to me and talks about finances doesn't scare me anymore.

So. I want to tell you a story.

This one made me realize how, after all I've been given, in spite of grace after grace, sometimes I still do not know how to receive. Though I already know things are going to be great, and it will be so much more than I could imagine, when they get here, I still pull away. Scared. He's taken me to the throne and yet I still think like a slave.

God has taken me out of Egypt, and now we gotta work on taking Egypt out of me.

Related:

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BIRTHDAY DINNER

Recently, we celebrated the birthdays of my dad and two of our pastors over dinner at Central Social Hall. (not sponsored!) I always go to networking events there and have dreamt to bring my family there since day one. So that Monday was a dream that has come true.

I arrived around 20 minutes before our dinner and that space of time was a battle ground.

Walking to our table, the negative thoughts began. The limiting beliefs coming to surface. Showing their ugly.

  • "Do I really belong here?"

  • "Can I be here?"

  • "Oh god. Do I have my money? This is gonna be humiliating."

  • "AHh. Can I really afford it????"

  • "They gave us this whole space just for us.. this is too grand. This can't be for me."

  • "Did I ask for too much? Who did I think I am? Am I inconveniencing them?"

Negative thoughts kept coming one after the other.

I couldn't be easy in my seat so I went back and forth to the washroom. Oh, I forgot my lipstick. Wait, I have to wash my hands. Oh, let's pee now so we won't have to later!! After a few of that, I just stayed there in front of the mirror, trying to figure out.. what is REALLY going on here?

I kept becoming more anxious by the minute to the point it was hard to breathe, the voices becoming louder in my head.

Then I closed my eyes.

What am I going to listen to?

I prayed— I want to hear God's whisper because these aren't his words. This isn't His voice. This isn't how He will talk to me. These are lies.

I asked myself, "What is God trying to tell me today, in this situation?"

And in my stillness, when I stopped fighting it, once I surrendered,

I felt God... smiling????? Like??? I'm here crying. You're smiling!! Abba what!

Then He said,

"It's okay, baby. It's okay. This is just the beginning. You are going to different places. You're gonna take your family to 5 star hotels and take them to different countries and you are going to feed so many people.

It's just the beginning. You are expanding. You are safe and it is okay to go out of that system that you've built in your head for yourself and it's not true for you anymore.

I am calling you into this abundant life that I want for you. The enemy comes to steal, kill, destroy. I have come that you may have life, and have it abundantly. Come. Walk in it."

Then after that, I almost ugly sobbed then and there. Ha!

REAFFIRMING MY TRUTHS.

I started telling myself what He told me. Reaffirmed His words. My truth.

I kept saying it again and again. I can afford it. I have the money. I always have money. I am abundant. I am expanding. I am safe. This is just the beginning.

Sometimes we say things because we believe them, other times we say them until we believe them.

Sometimes when we are expanding, it's going to be so uncomfortable. So nervewracking that you're shaking and crying. But you have to silence those voices and learn to listen to the whisper inside of you. What is the whisper inside of you saying?

You have to know the difference between lies and your truth.

What is your truth?

What are you choosing to believe?

 

 
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*Bonus* The Money Mindset Journaling Exercise that Made Me Cry..

[note: This was first published as a newsletter a few months ago. My newsletters are usually stories and lessons that inspire me during the week, what I realized and how to make it more practical and applicable for you. If you would like to subscribe to get my letters every Monday morning at 10AM MST, you can sign up here!]

Recently, I started reading “The Power of Positive Thinking.” It’s a spirituality/personal development book by Norman Vincent Peale and on the first few pages, he was talking about limiting beliefs. 

He (passively) said, “Decide why you have these feelings of no power.” 

Usually, I would just highlight it and go on reading the book but that moment was different. It really had me thinking. So I stopped, grabbed my journal and actually reflected on the question.

I also formulated 3 questions to help me answer this question. (Ive become such a self-facilitator by this point..) They are:

  1. How was I raised?

  2. What did I grow up believing?

  3. What was I punished(scolded)/rewarded for?

I spent the next half hour going back to my childhood and writing down EVERYTHING that I believed had to do with my limited mindset (especially when it comes to finances). The experiences, the situations, the words I heard, the things I watched, the people around me.. EVERYTHING.

And you bet, it was 3 full letter pages worth. Back to back. 

I got deeper and deeper. More things came to surface that I thought I had forgotten. Turns out, they were the ones who have made a big impact and shaped my mindset.

At one point, I cried because I was channeling my younger self and getting into her shoes so much that I started feeling like her again. It was suffocating.

The exercise was ugly and hard. 

I teared up and reminded myself that those are already in my past and they do not have to define my future. That they will not. I reminded myself of Jeremiah 29:11, that He has plans for me, plans to prosper me, to give me hope and a bright future. 

What I found interesting though is that I did not find myself wishing I was raised differently. I accepted it with humble surrender knowing that there’s no point wishing otherwise.

Instead, I was grateful because it was an experience that I could leverage as an advantage. That I get to learn and cultivate a new mindset from scratch.

And wow, I felt proud of myself and discovered a deeper sense of grace. Because out of all that? Here I am. My mindset and relationship to money, myself and with life is so so much better and it only keeps improving.

I still have work to do but I’m taking it one lesson at a time. I learned to stop being frustrated with myself and the pace I am moving because hey, it’s 2 decades worth of damage. You don't expect to fix it in 2 hours of journaling. Would you? Baby steps!

I encourage you to do the same! Although I say that with precaution because IT. WILL. GET. UGLY! However, the deeper you go, the more liberating it will feel. And the more you will understand why you have certain thinking patterns.

You know, self-awareness is the first step to improvement. Might I even say, when you get aware, you already did HALF the job!

You got this. Set aside time to reflect and do this exercise!

“Decide why you have these feelings of no power” and ask yourself these questions.

  • How was I raised?

  • What did I grow up believing?

  • What was I punished(scolded)/rewarded for?

I’m rooting for you always and always. :)

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As always,

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