Postcards from BC | Travel Video

Every time I travel to a new place, I try to film as much as possible and combine the little snippets into one video, with my journal entries during that trip as the background.

It’s become my little tradition and every time I watch these, it takes me back not only to the place and the experiences, but also to who I was and what is going on with my mindset was like during that time.

I’m so excited to be finally sharing this video from my travel to the beautiful Bristish Columbia to take photos for my friend Glenny for her blog! We explored Abbotsford for the Tulip Festival and lots of Harrison too!

In my previous blog posts, I have shared fun posts on where to get coffee, what I learned about myself there, and my goals for that trip. And today, I share with you a bigger piece of my heart! My actual journal entries and the mementos I would cherish forever.

This.. this is how I would remember BC.

 
 

Hi.

It’s me. Again. Though I am in a different place this time. Both physically and spiritually, I guess. I feel so different from the girl who last wrote to you. BC has been so wonderful. Everyday I have been saying: “This is the best day ever!” “This is the best place on earth” or “I am the luckiest girl.. How is this my life?”

I continue to ponder on how we’re always one decision away from a completely different life. It would’ve taken one yes or one no. One “I’ll stay.” Or one “I can’t go” I could be in such a different place right now had I made a slightly different decision. Maybe worse, maybe better.

But I am here. I am now. And here & now is a pretty good place to be.

I am just so grateful for every single choice that led me here, no matter how much it took of me to choose, no matter how big of a risk it felt at the time.

Can I trust you with a secret?

I love this. I enjoy the slow, quiet life so much sometimes it scares me how much I yearn for it.

There are times when I think I’d rather be small. To run away from all the noise, run away from the need to be somewhere, to be someone. Sometimes it’s getting harder to prove that my best moments are the ones that were just mine.

But then there are these moments. These moments that wake me up and make me realize that if I had it my way, if I had it easier, if I had the slow quiet life I think I want, I wouldn’t have any of these.

It scares me how easily I could give things up, the things that God has given me. How easily I could walk away from what I’ve worked towards when I get overwhelmed.

I used to think that having great ambitions is selfish and vain. That setting out for greatness is just foolish. But you know what I learned? It’s when I am dreaming of an easier path, an easier life that I am being selfish. It’s when I am playing small that I deny myself the purpose God has for me and I deny others the thing that He has put inside me.

Because I know God wants me.

He calls me to a bigger purpose, to share my journal pages, to keep telling my stories no matter how naked and vulnerable it makes me feel most of the time. I’m called to have cold cold cold showers in the morning because He needs me to be disciplined for the assignment He has prepared for me and to be a good steward because I’ll be a blessing to my family and an answer to someone else’s prayer.

He wants to lead me into deep waters so I can have an impact on the lives of others. This isn’t just about me. This CAN’T be just about me. This is so big of a blessing to be confined for just me.

And now my prayer is this:

Rid me of myself. My selfish ambition.

My tendency to move back or to move away when my fear arises.

Lead me to my cross because there, your love pours out.

I want to witness the Red Sea being parted before me as I stretch out my staff.

Give me the battles because where there’s battle, there’s victory.

When I am hurt, let me press on.

When I am scared, let me press on.

When it seems too complicated, let me press on.

When I am tempted to settle, let me press on.

Let me get out of my own way.

Let me be all you’ve created me to be.

No one wins when I play small.

Use me. Lead me. Move me.

Place me where you want me.

Teach me how to serve you wholeheartedly.

I have prayed for this so don’t let me take anything for granted.

How I grow more into you amazes me. I lean closer and you keep showing yourself. You keep on tearing the veil. Kicking my own walls down. I let myself fall into a deeper sense of surrender. To admit that I need grace like air, it’s the kind of humility I never allowed for myself before and it’s so freeing.

I realized that I am living a life that no man can take credit for. Not even myself. It is so much more than I could’ve imagined and continues to unfold in a way that surpasses all my wildest dreams.

Some things are still on their way to me but when I look back to how Abba has been faithful to make everything beautiful in its time, I trust.

I’m really happy. There is no rush. No feeling of lack. No striving in your grace.

And even though sometimes I get afraid that this is it, this is the end, I remind myself that my best is always before me. I go to sleep saying “Im ready for something better than this, Abba.”

Your love teaches me to open my hands for an open heaven.

And when people see me, I hope they see you.

I hope they see how you love, how generous you are in your giving. I hope they see the fullness of your joy in mine. the freedom you died for. your humility. the way you forgive seventy times seven. how faithful you are. Let me be a manifestation of your lovingkindness.

You are my resting place and my favorite place to be is where your grace holds me.

 

Check out the first two postcards!

Postcards from Banff https://www.nicoleconstante.co/blog/2018/postcards-from-banff

Postcards from Toronto https://www.nicoleconstante.co/blog/first-solo-travel-to-toronto-2018

Hang out with me on the gram!

https://www.instagram.com/nicole.constante


As always,

 
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