To my younger self,
I want you to dream big. Make yourself greater and focus on yourself. Don't mind the others. Be scared not of being embarassing— you are, and that's okay. You are bound to meet so many great people. They are going to guide you and be with you on your journey. Choose wisely who and what you are going to spend your time on because one thing you can never get back is the time wasted. Some people you'll have to let go of eventually. It will hurt but hey don't be afraid. You just really have to grow apart. I promise the ones who are meant to be part of your journey will find their ways back. You will make terrible choices, do unforgivable things, have regrets and you'll fail on some things but hey, who doesnt? We all do. Time will come and those things blurry to you will all make sense. Mishaps lead you to beautiful things and experiences that you’ll carry with you. I promise, wonderful things are ahead. Just take your time. Enjoy whatever you are doing. One day youre going to realise that it's not really about the quality of something, like money cos nothing else matters when you are happy. The experiences are more important, believe me.
Disclaimer: This article first appeared on Keen Magazine, a school project I made in 2015.
Enjoy your time with your best friends right now. You won't always be this close but it will be okay. While your worlds are still connected, enjoy it. Enjoy being fake majorettes and choreographing dance performances to the songs of sex bomb girls. Im laughing at you right now but god, im so happy that you did those things that I can laugh at now.
I know you always have fights with Mommy. And dont get me wrong because you will continue to when you grow up but here I'll tell you something: she's going to be the best friend you will ever ever ever have. She'll be more clingy, as if she can get any clingier, but her arms would be the safest place you'll be in. Always hold her hands and give her compliments. She deserves every good thing in this world and one day, we'll give her that okay?
Appreciate Daddy. Spend more time with him and when you wake up in the middle of the night and mom's missing, just go up to the rooftop because they'll be there sleeping together out in the fresh air. Follow them. Youll have to sleep on the cold stoned floor and get mosquito bites and it will most likely be uncomfortable but those are the things you are going to miss the most. Because one day, Daddy will have to go. He's going to be somewhere miles away from you in order to provide you the life that he never got to experience. Give him more kisses and hugs. Play billiards with him more often. Enjoy and make the most out of your time with him before the world takes him away. Despite that, he will always be there and hes not going to stop being your friend. And dont fret, he will come home sometimes and tadaa, youll get to put fake tattoos on each other, go on long drives and sing karaoke at the top of your lungs.
Try to be a nicer sister and share your toys with your siblings while you still have the same interests because eventually, you guys will grow up. Differences will be bigger and it will be harder to compromise. By the way, please put on some sunscreen before you decide to spend the whole day playing outside. I mean?? girl ????
Enjoy. Take everything one step at a time. Dont pressure yourself on experiencing what others are experiencing because there's a time for everything. I mean Im so excited for you to discover the world I have now. It's full of wonder and surprise and love and spontaneity but for now, enjoy your youth. Stop wishing to get older already. It's not as fun as you think!
I'm not going to say any goodbyes because, duh, who am I kidding? I know youre here, somewhere. You never really went away. You are with me when I'm singing and dancing alone at 2am. Youre here when im crying out of hunger and/or frustration and I feel so petty. Youre with me when Im playing with Nacho and Martini; when Im crying over Disney movies; when im playing in the rain and whenever I tend to be careless. Youre here when I feel so needy of others' affection and attention, especially Mom's. Youre still here and Im not letting the giddy eight year old inside of me go.
DRINK YA WATER AND SMILE U LIL CUTIEPIE.